One Year Later.

It is such a strange feeling to be approaching the year mark of being diagnosed with cancer.  My first anniversary.  I don't even know what to do with that yet...

Once I realized this day was coming up, I starting thinking about how I would spend it.  I wanted it to be special and I wanted it to be happy.  I decided that the thing that would make me most happy on that day would be to make it a memorial to all the people who walked this journey with me.  There are people who gave generously to me in my time of need and it seems the only natural response is to give back.  So my day this year is for you...

Momma, Daddy and Kristin,  one plane ticket to Virginia.  You spent countless hours traveling to see me or traveling with me.  Between the three of you, there were many plane tickets... Even one surprise visit that I'm amazed you pulled off!  You drove me around after my surgery when I couldn't drive.  You took me to new places and on new adventures.  You put up with my tired body and my stubbornness.  Thank you and this time I'm coming to see you!

Ginnie Lane, one handmade necklace from Etsy.  Nothing I could say or do would really express my gratitude for all that you have done for me this past year.  Helping my mom take care of me in the hospital, staying home from Africa, going to chemo with me each week, sleeping on the couch at the Wozs, laughing with me, crying with me, listening to me, praying with me, understanding when I needed to do things on my own and when I needed your help.  You really took this on with me.   I hope the gift I chose for you will be a reminder that we both learned a little more about eternity in this process.  Thank you Gigi, you are a dear friend to me! 

The Woznicki Family (Andy, Melisa, Abby, Caleb, Stephen and Drew),  one personalized bowl for opening your home to me and cooking me wonderful meals each week.  I'm not sure I realized at the time how much the things you did for me really mattered.  Now I see that it could have been a very lonely time for me... But you came to doctor's appointments with me, opened your home to me, cooked for me, served me, loved me, comforted me, and understood me.  Thank you for giving so generously of your time, your energy, and your family so that I didn't have to face this alone.

Dr. Green, one two piece bathing suit to prove you wrong.  The first thing he said to me when I saw him after my surgery was, "So I guess you won't be wearing bikini's anymore."  Little did he know that I stopped wearing bikini's years ago.  So to prove him wrong, that I don't mind having a scar on my belly, I went and bought my first two piece suit since college.  Will I ever wear it?  Maybe in my backyard.  Thank you Dr. Green, for skillfully leaving your mark (literally).  It will always be a reminder to me of this part of my life.

Elizabeth, one skinny vanilla latte in your honor.  Each week that we went to chemo, Ginnie and I would stop at the Starbucks on the way and pick up a coffee for my nurse.  You took care of me, encouraged me, calmed my fears, made me laugh, and gave me lots of drugs (some I liked, most I didn't).  Thank you and today drank a latte as I remember all you did for me!

D-Group (Audrey, Becky, Robin, Casey, Kelsey, Kirsten, Schenk and Snickets), one t-shirt for each of you for our "family".  One of our "relatives" had suggested me make t-shirts for our family, so I decided this was as good a time as any.  I'm not finished with your shirts yet, but I did get started on them today!  Thank you for being sisters and friends to me. 

The prayers, notes and unnoticed service of many, one seed for each of you.  Today I scattered a seed for you and there were too many to count.  Just as there were too many prayers offered in my behalf, notes of encouragement sent, meals prepared, boxes packed, and phone calls made for me to even begin to thank the rest of you.  These seeds are just like your (often) unnoticed service to me, that grew up and reminded me that something beautiful was happening all along.  Though I may not even know your names, thank you for offering yourself to me in secret ways this year.  So I scattered my seeds in secret today in your honor.

And one last thing... 
My friend Robin and I went to dinner tonight to celebrate.  We had a toast in honor of a few who lost their lives to cancer.  One was very dear to me, my Aunt Cathy, who passed away from ovarian cancer 4 years ago.  The other, Elise who passed away in October, was very dear to Robin and I also got to know because of our shared experiences.  Both of them knew how to celebrate and so we had a drink in their memory tonight.