The Past Few Weeks

- My dad came in town and we did lots of fun things! We spent a few days in Atlanta going to a Braves game, seeing the Bodies Exhibition, watching CATS at the Fox, and eating at yummy restaurants. He also helped me paint my new room and move into my new house.

- We had to push back the start of Cycle 5 because of low blood counts. I went that Monday morning to find out my platelets were too low. I went back on Wednesday morning to find out my platelets had come up, but now my ANC was too low. So I wasn't able to get treated until the following Monday.

- I think I had a reaction to the medicine I was taking during the first week of Cycle 5. For the most part I felt pretty good and was able to do more than normal that week. But one night, after taking this medicine, I started to feel achy and antsy. I had been talking with one of my roommates and had to go lay down. I couldn't sleep because my body felt so anxious and it was all I could do but to breathe in and out to try to calm down. I thought I might be having a reaction to the meds, and sure enough around 2 that night it had worn off. I won't be taking that again!

- With school starting back up I feel caught between two worlds. Some moments I spend with college students who are young, energetic, lively. Other moments I am in the world of cancer where most people are older, sick, and some are even dying. I struggle to live between the two some days because these places know nothing of each other. Yet I know both so well.

- I have been able to do (surprisingly) many of the things that I did before on campus. But I also wore myself out the first full week back at school. I'm trying to figure out a schedule that is manageable for me and how to communicate my limitations to people.

- The end is in sight... I will start my last cycle of chemo next week. As I'm nearing the end I've begun to think a lot about what life after chemo will be like. Lately I have feared that I will forget this part of my life. Or ignore it. Or not be changed by it. I don't want to be so eager to move on with life that I fail to remember all of these moments. I want to hang on to them - even the hard ones. I hope I can.