Me Vs. Chemo

I'm coming out of the first week of Cycle 3 of chemo. This has been the hardest week so far and I think the drugs are starting to take a toll on my body. Though the side effects only last 3-4 days, I find myself dreading the start of the next three cycles. During these days, I am tempted to wonder if we really need to finish the treatment. Maybe it's been enough? But we press on.

So what are the nights like? Tossing and turning, never really falling asleep. Wondering if and when I will feel sick enough to throw up. Maybe then I can get to sleep. And the days? I began each morning with nausea and vomiting. And no appetite to sustain what my body was using up. So I felt weak. And so tired. The kind of tired that I don't feel like I can stand up. But a dull ache in my legs. So I can't get comfortable when I lay down. Such an agonizing feeling of not being able to sleep or stay awake. Torn between the two. Counting down the hours when I know I will feel a part of the living world again. I can't read or watch tv because of the nausea. So I just wait.

So I tell you all of this becuase I have some potentially good news that I want to share! I was on a drug called Compazine for my nausea, but today the nurse gave me a prescription for Zofran. (Note: it's surprising to me how many drugs I put into my body through all this... so many drugs to offset the side effects of the chemo! Right now I have four pill bottles next to my bed - all of which I am taking - yikes!) So please pray that my body likes this! I was recently listening to a Matt Chandler update where he was thanking viewers for their prayers. Apparently he had experienced nausea and depression during a treatment and had more recently not had those side effects. Would you ask God that the next 3 cycles would be more bearable - no nausea, no fatigue, good rest? Thank you!